my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER...

Monday, June 22, 2009

I NEED TO SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST.

Life's just... gets quite stale. the same emotion just overwhelms - and i thought i was ok already. how nice. perhaps im jus deluding myself, grabing onto any safety float around.. i dont know. i dont wanna know. I'm grateful to have a bunch of really great frens.. but sometimes im unsure if they feel I'm taking them for granted? perhaps being too dependent... Ah. wadever. i need a psychologist.

And.. for some reason, i think im getting more emo by the year/day/min/sec/split sec. shit. seriously i keep thinking abt negative stuff and thinking alot which... is... making me feel rather depressed. argh. why isit so that holis pass so fast!! i dont want it to end so soon. and somehow, i just want the stupid upgrading works to end soon. it doesnt help if u're depressed and emo + u're being stranded in such dusty, dirty, hot and smelly place. such a torture. argh.

Oh well, i guess this will be the most boring holiday in my lifetiime. no trips, nothing. guess gotta wait for aug or dec and that's quite a long time more.. END.

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Friday, June 19, 2009

A LONG FIRST YEAR IN LSE

i think ive lost the ability to blog. so many things on my mind i wish to update but somehow i cant express them in words! anyway, time always flies when it comes to holidays but time crawls during exam period. just had the worst torture of my life. Going thro LSE exams haven been ez. and im kinda drained. BUT im glad... i survived, results aside.

Anyway, other than blog, im here to thank my special friends: MEL,JX, JESS, HANNAH, GRACE, CRIS and of cos mr n and mr k for their morale support!! hee... i really feel fortunate to have great buddies around me and just wanna let them know, if they need ears/eyes/whatever, i promise to always be supporting them and helping them in every little way! x)

Ok back to LSE. mum came over to tour london and settle accom with me, not too bad had fun!! but accom was a headache cos of one very freaking irritating person. BUT who cares! ive officially dissociated myself from her. and i'll try too as much as i can. she DOES NOT DESERVE all that. tolerated her nonsense for long enuff and time to say GOODBYE. i wont even try to be superficial ard her.. wad a burden.

AND CONGRATS to my ah fung for his concert!! I HAVE the SUDDEN URGE to see him and congratulate him!! hee. so far he's been one star ive loved so much since 2003! and i will continue to support him! he gave me the BESTIEST MEMORIES in 2005/06,NO OTHER STAR including MR K can replace. HE gave me the WEIRDEST IDEAS for creating an ENGLISH NAME for myself, he told me the COLDEST JOKE ever on the phone, and HE's the ONE AND ONLY STAR I'm willing to chase despite him being so popular. cos i know, he really makes an effort to remember me and make me happy! x) thanks to fung, i feel really fortunate to be his fan!

OKIE DOKIE random- im addicted to monopoly! whoever wanna play!!! pls register at pogo.co.uk AND COME PLAY WITH ME!! oh right its steaming here. like boilingg soon. i miss london's weather. argh.

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Thursday, December 04, 2008

COUNTDOWN TO FLYING BACK TO SG!

gosh. im darn tired. just went for global village aisece event in UCL.... dead tired. it wasnt that fantastic as i would have thought it would be... but still... nvm! hahaha saw my "manager" but didnt really talk much to him. lol. went to sushi hiroba or wadever jap restaurant to eat dinner cos it was darn late abt 930 when the event ended! lol..... ate abt 20pounds worth of food which is 40plus sg dollars! but we only ordered one seafood yakiudon and one tempura soba! omg. ex! but nvm. food was fantastic! reached home at 11. bathed and slacked.. super tired now but i jus cant get the headphones off frm my ears.. cos songs are damn nice! emo~ I PROMISE I MUST SING K BOX MAN. like 10 thousand times! i don care liao! i need to sing!

well.. life has been HECTIC! altho next week is the last week of school... work suddenly started to flood in. i have problem set due, maths, stats, econs hist PRESENTATION which im damn scared of.. cos.. i have sleeping memebers in my group and i don really understand my chim readings abt debt crisis and bonds and blahhhs. gosh. yeah. im so dead right? still needa present next monday for 15mins? >.<>

one a sidenote: i realised my fb status-es are really attracting pple's attention. unnecessarilyyy!!! like today someone asked abt it..... gosh. and then another fren posted on my wall also. like. ok. fine. i dunno wad to say other than.... erms... diao. heck. sleep. i need sleep. >.<>

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

UPDATES ABOUT MY.... LIFE?!

if u call this .. LIFE.. then i really have nothing much to say other than my daily dose of high-ness during dinner time and hanging out time aka sharing session with ivan and alex. i really really wanna update my blog about my life in london but first.. im too busy to even update and second i have STM which means... i really cant rmb things that happened other than... perhaps more significant ones like fire alarms* =P. seriously i think im suffering from bipolar nature or smthg. i can be super high at one moment and super depressed at the next moment. like.. what the toot right. yea. dunno why. not really because of ahem. but.. i don think its 100% not because of him... somehow... i think my weird feeling has smthg more to it than jus ahem.

yea. so basically, life has been not veryyy good neither isit veryyy bad! jus average i guess. and the only thing that makes me wanna go back for bankside dinners is really ahem and ahem only plus company of alex and ivan. so yea. and seriously... i think... the song 走火入魔 and 触电 super describes me when i see ahem. seriously. i think im slightly... over the line. and gg abit off tangent. i know i must come back to reality. i know... but how? i want to. i don wanna get hurt or like.. feel emo abt something so trivial and silly. cos in the first place, i dun even know ahem! so as wad ivan says.. not even level 1 frens.. so .. how? oh well. for me. i think i always take the sit and wait and wish approach. which shud be so for girls.... so yea let fate do the job. PLUS! i must stop all these crazinesss now. gonna miss bankside dinner for two nights and he's nt in for friday night so.. this week is pretty much quite dull.. yea.. then again. maybe God's trying to tell me smthg... maybe... he's jus not for me. or........... maybe...... im simply thinking too much. idk. i don wanna know seriously.

oh gosh.. if i ever write out my true true feelings here... abt stuff that happened i think all my frens would think im crazy! and truthfully.. i need an outlet to vent my so called emo-ness and highness so that i attain balance again.. scary right. i know i am. but i also dunno why im like that. trying v hard to control. but alex says.. controlling is bad. so.. yeah. i guess... let it FADE.. hopefully it will go away soon. i keep telling myself to go for dinner at later time so wont bang into him. wont see him then wont have such after effects. but it always doesnt seem to work. idk. shud i? i need advice.

i guess. this is one of the more truthful entries ive ever written. and hey tmr or rather today for sg my DARLING IS COMING!!! hahah!!! hopefully jess sis and jx can help me! but if cant its ok la! but hey im listenin to darling's song now! so im suddenly happy... but just now i really felt darn emo.. but cant describe what's that weird empty emotion inside... ohwell. let it pass.

yay! 3 weeks to BACK TO SG! ... supposed to be damn damn happy but..... the thought that im gg to miss bankside dinners for 3weeks plus is making me emo.. oh sheesh jus a second ago i jus said im NOT GG TO THINK ABT AHEM AND HECK ABT EVERYTHING! and nowwww u see la! i'm dead. im seriously dead. gosh. help me.

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Friday, November 14, 2008

ITS BEEN A LONG TIME BUT AHLAN WASALAN PEOPLE!

yes! that's arabic and it means "hello" haha! life has been sooo much fun and pain cos im pathetically sick. had fever down to 39deg but it subsided... yet my cough is getting worse. oh well. all these moaning and cries for pity aside, im totally ENJOYINGGGGG LIFE AND ENJOYING STUDIES! although stuff are getting harder and work is piling up as aways... but since i realised ive been neglecting this bloggie... im back! jus for a quick update.

first, i had a brilliant weekend at wales with people from all around UK! AIESEC maxis conference rawked altho we had gross food and cold showers. literally i was shivering from inside out.. the weather was Colldddd. but AIESEC LSE bonded really well and i was quite glad that i went too altho some talks quite rubbish but hey u guys if u really need inspiration should go google marcus orlovsky! his speech was SOO MR BEAN YET VERY VERY INSPIRING. i think i learnt alot frm his talk... and laffed like mad. lols! anyway! wales was good! some photos!

florian, alexandra, me, meimei(huizhen), savi, jagriti

jump shot with formal dress can!!!! im flying!

okayy then recapp back abit.. it was fresher's ball... hahaha and camped over at meimei's place for overnight bridge. lols over the morning until 4am. damn shiokkk but tired. yawwwn.

sichen and me!

And finally this photo is taken in my room with ivan who is such a darling mother. i was sick for the past few days he ran in the rain to get me 4 bottles of 2l of water. crazy man but hey I LOVE HIM. our darling best mother ever! hahaha. and.... the day b4.. i had fever he wanted buy food up for me. and bought food medicine and water... gosh. so sweet. thanks mum!

Econs reception!

ice cream with alicia!

CHEERS MAN to everyone ive met(other than this scary guy who stalks me). ahah. and i met one super cute eyecandy also from my hall. he's jus. CUTE. SHUAI and.. mmm... nice. but he's postgrad.. which means he's old.. oh man.. sob heartbroken. hahhaaaaa! and i cant stop talking abt him! oh sheesh. >.<>

okayy time for bathe and work! cyaaa guys

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Sunday, October 12, 2008

LONDON AND MY BANKSIDE PEOPLE!

wah i realised this blog has been super stale and getting abit rotty.. anyway... just to update people out there abt my life... LONDON has been FUN MORE FUN and GREAT SO FAR~ first week i came there were alot of settling down to do.. alot of things to get.. but luckily my parents were around so not to bad... time passed pretty fast too but i managed to feel quite comfortable in my hugee room.. and like got to know some other nice pple around school too staying at my hall! lovely! =] cannot rmb too much abt the touring but i know i had chinese food everyday cos my parents jus brought me to chinatown and makan.

then time flew by and kinda my parents were leaving.. that was when everything started to become abit emo.. when i was really sad and like feeling super empty esp when my roomie didnt come back... i jus felt like crying so many times.. perhaps like wad sichen said... its that weird feeling of u urself being in the room and everyone's gone. i dunno. Anw! just to update pple out there who were concerned abt my bad roomie(the person i blogged abt aka coffeemaker?) lol... she backed out last min! good thing man! cos my roomie now is a super nice girl!) hahah.. and erm... yea basically i was emoing quite badly but luckily i had cheerful pple around like my new found "mum" ivan ! and of cos.. my supposedly younger but older sister:P hahaha alexandra! and of cos.. another happy man who if nt for him.. i think i would jus cry or smthg. yar i think msning with him everynight makes me feel happier i duno why... dun wan say his name cos he's "camera shy" hahaha. but yar he knows who he is.. so thanks guys..

mm and recently i have been coping well... esp outside of school academic work la. yest huizhen alex and ivan camped at my room just to have sharing session which i thought was MARVELLOUS! cos ivan has really super good counselling skills.. talking abt love life and guys and girls and stuff.. yar... it was super fun altho we only stopped at 3am.. sheesh. super late! haha but worth it cos thru the sessions i learnt alot frm ivan's "theory" so yea.. thanks mum! hahaha... alot of things have been happening in my social circle recently.. i mean alot of.. unwanted people and weird pple, alot of nice warm pple too.. not too bad on the whole... as for academic work... mmm i think im slack and stupid. i cant rmb my A level stuff for nuts. so its making me stressed up cos icant do the work! and lecturers go super fast! but oh well its part of uni life. wad can i say =/ cope lor.

yeahh basically i must apologise to pple whom ive not talked to due to my busy schedule or like cos my frens were in my room so abit bad to stare at comp then heck abt frens? so yea! sorry pple but anything u guys could jus email me alright? =] and thanks to everyone esp JOAN, NANA, JX, JESS SIS, MELODY, HANNAH, TRENT, SICHEN, HUIZHEN IVAN, ALEXANDRA and CW who have helped me in one way or another overcome my homesickness =] love u guys!

upcoming week shud be busier? imnt sure but ive gt some late days! eek!

`sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Friday, September 19, 2008

ENTIRELY FTW-ED!

15sept
called up stta to double check her flight details in the morning... the woman who was on the phone sounded super unsure la! i was asking.. then she told me.. "they're still in shanghai?" so i asked "but i was told that they will be back today.. could u help me check?" then she went to check! and came back telling me her flight was on 16sept instead. i was like WAD?! then she corrected herself and said 15sept.. zzzso this was the beginning of trouble.. went down to the airport feeling excited but came back empty handed cos apparently.. we only managed to catch sun bei bei and eddy who is really superrr nice team manager. joan managed to get his contact too which is HIPEEE DOOLE cos it maked everything easier now.. lol.. and since our elusive tw doesnt really have time to respond to emails... (i bet she doesnt know wad to say) LOL! it'll be good to go thro the manager:) so yay! reached home super late at abt 11plus... then we had some ftwfc meeting. as usual.

17sept
wah.. second failed attempt to catch ftw! apparently it was the correct day, correct timing but perhaps incorrect terminal?!?! i was like quite excited when eddy smsed joan saying that she reached... but reached where?!? then the msg came and made us DIAOOO. she's on cab back to stta alr. boohoo.. we thought we had no chance but then.. requested to meet tw for 10 to 15mins at stta... so eddy kinda helped us arranged! YAY! screamed when eddy said TW said OK! wahahhaha.. and then took mich's car down to stta.

spotted her spikey hair as tw peered out frm the glass door.. haha that cute action -- look sideways thro the hole btw the door then push open the door was AHHH! melts. hahaha. then she came out. we were super stunned! and she was too!! cos so many pple!! then joan wanted to let her sign fotos firsT! but so weird... cos immediately sign photos abit funny. so i asked joan say smthg!!! hahaha then joan asked abt her flight and told her we actually went down early. then she signed the stuff. OMG as she signed the stuff.. i asked her abt pandan cake and she said it was rather good and *smiled shyly* then i was telling her abt the SG "MEI SHI" we bought for her and SHE WAS GIVING ME THAT "HAHAHA.. yar im deprived of sg food" kinda look! oMG and she smiled so sweetly... which made me melt further.. LOL! i made her smile! YAHOO! hahaha! and then snap snap photo taking.. told her that i actually send her fotos but was wondering if she received.. she ask me back "shi ni ji gei wo de ma?" then i replied "MM.. wo shi sukai" then she was like telling me she didnt reply cos she looked at it during the competition so no time to reply.. jus got time to see.. then i told her.. i understand =] and tadahhh she looked into my cam and smiled sweetly! LOL... YEAH! then cos i kept thinking of wad i shud ask or say to her so joan and i stepped one side allowed other fans to take photos first.. then joan asked abt her next competition and My RXN WAS... HUGGEEEEEEEEEE.. she said "ying gai shi de guo de ba" THEN I WAS LIKE OUTBURST!! "YES YES YES!!!!!" then she looked at me with fascination and LAUGHED at me like i was some... comedian or smthg!!! cos it was indeed super malu.. =X but yea i told her why.. and told her i would go down support her! her reply was "hao ah" then SMILE shyly! lol... then cant rmb wad followed but we kinda took grp photo and she made the PEACE SIGN! WAHHSEHH... sooo cute!!!!

then after she went back up... Yuegu came down next cos jiawei nt in... so cant entertain us.. LOl.. super funny. YUEGU IS DAMN ENTHU AND HIGH LA.. i seriously think i might fall in love with her.. as..... she's also... a SIAO WOMAN! hahaha!!! she's mad. when she took foto with me.. her armwas liek grabbing my waist...i was like W..A..DDD!!! hahaha! then i asked abt whether she's gg to play for german open! and she was like... "club"? then i said nooo. she asked again "open?" then i was like YEA! then she said "HUI!" and i SAID OHHHH im gg over to support her! and wahhh her reaction was damn big!!! she used two hands, pointed to me and said"OKayy, wo hui ji de ni!" WAHHH!!!! i was stunned! then joan said gt pple gg for macau one also! and SHE LIKE SAID "qing ni men chi PIZZA!" WAHHHHH table tennis "star" treat us to pizza!! if only tw said that. i would have like... VAPOURISED.. LOL!!! but yea.... WYG is rocker. she's super enthu! ahhaha i like!

19sept
FAREWELL MEETUPS with siaowomen and trio at cine! hahaha.. i tell u... i feel stupid. always getting tricked by siaowomen! HAHAH! aiyooo maybe i shud be more observant next time! first it was the cakes surprise.. then yest! it was this.... PRESENT SURPRISE!!! and like... i was super gandong... cos... they handmade the tee? and the card?! and rie's design of the monkey is super cute and meaningful --wukong with a tomato hat holding a dao and banana!! oh man... i love u guys.. thanks for making me feel so.... (i dunno) its jus the assurance and all the happy memories.. i love u guys... and of cos... we shall rmb our dec promise for "badminton" LOl! and.. of cos.. if can.. macau xD U GUYS WILL NEVER BE REPLACED! for now.... lets just make do with msn and webcamming ok? 2months plus will pass fast... WILL MISS U GUYS SO MUCH.. once again! thanks for everything.. so much that words cant describe how i feel.... altho we know each other for less than 1month,... everything we guys did tgt was super MEMORABLE... LOVE SHALL KEEP US GOING OK!

kinda rushed to meet up with trio! we raelly siaoed all the way and camwhored! hahaha! jessica was having some laffing spasm and every little thing she laffed! OMG. hahah! then we ate the udon thingy jess recommended and went to take neoprints! omg.. super cute neops! hahaha.. then we went out of cine and snapped fotos more more more! and then to heeren where jess gave me this SUPER NICE AND MEANINGFUL farewell gift! smthg like a foto album... all fotos of trio ever since the hk trip! its like so many years back but those were the days.. memories and everything started coming back when i was flipping thro.. how "ungalm" we looked and how "lousy" our "photoshop skills were.. everything part of growing up.. i miss the times but of cos look forward to better times ahead with trio! cos i know... its hard to find such TRUE frens.. and yes i cherish my two dearest! =] thanks jx for the present too! its the thought that counts ok!

sick so went back early... then kinda meeting online with ftw fc again. supposed to slp at 12am then became 1am. AHHH JOJO don kill me!! hahaa.. and yea now im officially down with flu. boohoo... so im gg to rest b4 i fly! =] this shud be the last entry typed in sg?!?! the next one to look forward to will be frm london! and yes... im looking forward somehow... but i'll still miss home and frens!

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;